As if J hasn't been having a hard enough time lately, here we are at 4th of July. He has been even more on edge the last couple of days since we live in a city where certain fireworks are still legal. Regardless of the fact that it is only legal to light them off between 8-1l on the 4th, they have been steadily increasing every day. Last night they kept waking hubby and I up until 3am. Thankfully the boys slept through them all.
The plan was to go to a barbecue at a friends house and bring J's headphones and ear plugs for D and still have a great family time. We just tried some very tame fireworks at home and J turned into a quivering mess at the sound of a Pop It being thrown on the ground. He could tolerate the Pop Its as long as he had his headphones on. We tried a small fountain that shot sparks up and made a crackling sound and he completely fell apart. It was pure torture. D LOVED the fireworks and can't wait to go to the barbecue, and now J is refusing to leave the house.
Yet again, Autism robs our family of some great family time and we have to divide up to keep both boys happy. I am just sad, frustrated and angry and am having a really hard time getting into the spirit of the holiday.
I am not mad at J at all. I feel so bad that it is so terrifying and painful for him. I am mad at the monster that is Autism.
